NJ and the Tantei's Guide to the MarySue
by NekoJinx
Summary: You know what it is...A guide to the YYH Mary-Sue led by the Rekai Tantei! It was deleted but it is now back! Was NJ's Guidebook to the Mary-Sue...PG13 for violence (maybe) and language (very mild)


NJ and the Rekai Tantei's Guide to the Mary-Sue!

But first here's an answer to a question I got,

Mama Moose: It depends...A Mary-Sue is supposed to be perfect with no flaws THAT lower her 'appeal'...if your character is stronger but she has a weakness that evens it out, then she isn't a MS. I hope that helped! -

NJ: Welcome! This was edited and reposted due to its deletion...So now it runs more like a story...But most of you know what it is, a spoof that explains, in clarity, the horror that is the Mary-Sue...Read on!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu Yu Hakusho. I own these sorry excuses for human/youkai beings...Disclaimer applies to all chapters!

Chapter 1: What Is A Mary Sue? & Signs Of The Apocalypse (Or Signs Of A Mary-Sue Beginning)

A brief explanation by the Rekai Tantei (& NJ for translation purposes) and the start of the film series...

The scene is set on a stage, where the Rekai Tantei stands. NJ, the author, walked up to them and asked them the dreaded question,

"What, in your own opinion, is a Mary-Sue?"

Kurama was the first to answer,

"A Mary-Sue (or MS) is most commonly found as a perfect specimen of the female species-" NJ turns to the audience,

"A perfect girl!" Kurama smiled briefly before continuing,

"Yes...with traits that are often as good, if not more so than the actual canon characters. Being a famous thief like me, for example," Again, NJ interrupted our redheaded fox,

"MS's are usually equal or better at everything the real guys are good at! Thank you, Kurama. Now, Hiei, what do you think?"

"Hn" NJ blinked and consulted her translator,

"He says 'They also _must _become one of our group and have their bishounen of choice constantly worry about their safety in battle...baka onna...' Thank you, Hiei. And Yusuke?"

"Hmmm, a Mary-Sue? They're evil, with their hypnotic eyes that make reasonable guys like us, turn into their mushy, zombie slaves to do their bidding!"

"Right...Or 'I watch too many horror movies'..."

"Hey..."

"And last but not least...maybe...Kuwabara! ::shudder:: What's your opinion on the subject?"

"Uh, what was the subject?"

"What do you classify as a Mary-Sue?"

"What's a Mary-Sue? I've never had one...Can you eat it?"

"...I give up...Now, can we please just start the film?" NJ received a confirmation nod from Yusuke, and turned on a huge TV screen at the back wall of the stage and the group walked backstage, allowing the audience full view. On the screen, these words appeared,

'The Typical Mary-Sue beginning, demonstrated by Marissa and the Yu Yu gang' The film began to play, with NJ's voice narrating...

The Rekai Tantei were in a mountainous region of the Makai and were fighting some demon threat that had interrupted their mission to find a person who wielded powers dangerous enough that Koenma felt at risk. Now, of course they don't usually have so much trouble defeating random demons, but they were wounded,

"OW! YOU STEPPED ON MY FOOT!!!" and outnumbered- "HIEI! STOP KILLING THE DEMONS! WE NEED TO BE OUTNUMBERED!" ...Anyway, they were losing, when suddenly a gorgeous being- no, not the tree, the girl- came to their rescue via the rocky pathway.

Her flowing blonde (or whatever) hair was as smooth as silk, without a single fibre being out of place nor a split end within a 50-mile radius of her head. Her eyes werelike sapphires, deep blue like the ocean, framed by long, curved lashes that occasionally fluttered seductively. Her rosy cheeks gave her an innocent beauty and her full, red lips gave her an air of experience, the two almost opposites contrasted together to create a perfect face.

Both the Tantei and the demons had ceased their battle long enough to notice these details, although she was several kilometres away,

"Oi, quit hogging the binoculars! I want to see the manifestation of beauty and perfection!"

"Get your own!"

"Both of you shut and hand me the binoculars before I slice both of you to the depths of hell!

"Hey, Hiei can you see up her skirt from there?"

"...Shut up, Yusuke..."

"Guess not... What a shame."

Reading about her wondrous beauty surely can't have already bored you? But there's more! Her curved physique was toned and well practised through what was obviously hard work, so she must have fighting skill, a LOT of skill. In fact, she can obviously kick the Tantei's ass...Yet her hands were soft and displayed no signs of training...(AN: contradiction: Very popular in the Mary-Sue. Please also note the amount of description used on her while there is virtually none elsewhere.)

She began to gracefully descend the worn stone steps, until she tripped and fell flat on her perfect face. Yup, she's obviously a keeper...

'Owari'

The Rekai Tantei returned to the stage and bowed...

NJ: Well there you have it, folks, the beginning of an average Mary-sue, but be warned! There are many variations, meaning many more chapters to come! I hope the changes didn't take away any quality that this fic had...please let me know! R&R and if you flame you're an idiot to take this so seriously...-

Who do you think should deal with 'The first Mary-Sue AKA The innocent yet often strangely powerful...'? I was thinking Kurama, but tell me who you think would be best for the job?


End file.
